If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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