After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize