The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
