does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
