She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
