we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
