Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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