I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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