you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
my poor anus
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
