He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
