We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
