just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
