Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize