Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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