yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
