I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
