i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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