nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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