It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
