You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
