Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
