LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
