if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let's get the cat blown out
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
as a side note pls kill me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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