I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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