Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
