Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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