Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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