im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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