the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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