haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it hurts more in the daytime
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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