I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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