Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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