you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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