I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize