I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
