Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize