In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
