She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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