somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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