you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
