Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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