Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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