im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
