Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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