But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
