i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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