Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
