the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize