Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Send help, water and tortillas.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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