Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
