PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
how drunk are you?
Several
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
