low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
FUCK WHALES
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
