420 ftw
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
