Buhtt sex?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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