she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
