Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
