Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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