You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
