and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
