This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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