I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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