I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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