I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
