oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
