in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
