I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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