Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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