Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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