I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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